A Conclusion to USeP’s Most Torturous Semester So Far

             The first 5 months of my 2017 were colorful, thanks to the second semester of AY 2016-2017. Since high school, I have already been exposed to a lot of stressors that I already learned how to cope with it without having a mental or emotional breakdown. Piles and piles of paper works do not taunt me as much as they taunt others. But the past semester was different. We were figuratively buried by so many requirements that do not, by any means, measure our understanding of the subjects. But now that I’m looking at it, the sem wasn’t really that bad.

             So here’s a summary of my life this second semester:

  • This semester I stood up for the class and upright told one of my professors that we want her to teach us, like really teach us, and to not just make us dance by saying “I hope you impart to us cognitive inputs this time.’ She was also our professor the preceding semester before this one, and she didn’t even impart anything other than Dahrendorf. To tell honestly, it scared me in some ways because I didn’t know that she was that sensitive and she took what I said too personally (maybe she’s also guilty), and afterwards she told us we will have to do a lot of work this semester because we want to learn the cognitive way. It didn’t help that few of our classmates were throwing daggers at me that time for saying what I said. And I was a bit offended because they were also complaining about her not teaching us and now that we will get to have a chance to actually learn, they’re mad. And they were so silent all throughout the duration of that first day of class while I was on the hot seat for speaking up. But I honestly do not care. People don’t shock me anymore. And I don’t take it against them either, we’re all different after all. But after that incident, our teacher was actually making the effort to go to class with a power point presentation in hand and doing her lectures.
  • I had a professor who is also a Witness of Jehovah. I couldn’t contain how I felt when I learned about this. Of course, I didn’t immediately learn this the first day she came to class. But when we were already tackling about the Hebrew Literature, I knew that my teacher was different from the others, same goes with her reasoning. So that night, I stalked her on Facebook and knew that she’s also a Witness. I’m so glad. It felt so good to meet someone who also know Jah in a deeper manner. Although she also has her flaws and is a bit different from the other Witnesses I know for having such a straightforward way of talking, I still like her because I know that Jehovah has also seen something about her that He allowed her in His organization.
  • This semester I got a hiatus in my work. It’s been months since I last wrote more than one set of articles. I’ve been very busy with school lately that I can’t anymore find the time to insert writing. I just hope my boss don’t kick me out, I write whenever I can.
  • I’ve also been busy with ministry work. My Saturdays are not anymore so bland because I allot that day on going door to door to declare the Good News.
  • I’ve had an emotional breakdown for a week or two and nobody noticed because I was so good at hiding it. About a year ago when I realized that it’s already the time to detach myself from depression, I knew for a fact that in one way or another, it’s going to come back, but maybe it’s not anymore that daunting unlike before. It comes back, really, especially when I’m not too occupied. But I didn’t know I’m going to get to another major breakdown early this year for the same reason I had those breakdowns years ago, or maybe now, it’s a bit different. For almost two weeks, my head was so full of thoughts and it seemed that every day, my heart was almost always about to burst because it was already literally hurting. It didn’t help that I was too stressed out about all the requirements. There were days when my mood was so severe, I chose to not quite interact with people, but not too obvious so that they won’t notice that I’m in one of my mood swings again. I’m so tired of them pointing out to me how moody I am as if they know what’s going on inside my head, because if they were, they will already want to confine themselves in an asylum (kidding). There came a point when I couldn’t take the hurt anymore, and the emotions surged that one night and I cried so hard I had to bury my face in my pillow so the folks in my residence won’t notice that I’m on my breakdowns again. For the past two years, they never did. Or perhaps, my mother noticed but she’s just too practical to not say anything. And I was again left with no other remedy but to kneel and pray that I hope He understands. It helps. And the ‘On Children’ in The Prophet by Khalil Gibran made a great deal of comforting.
  • I became, once again, the script writer of a mini play our professor stood up. But I’m actually a bit glad she didn’t come. My classmates won’t understand her reasons behind it, anyway.
  • One of my classmates, and also I consider as one of my friends (I’m not sure though if he considers me as one) is going through some issues. And it seemed that he’s getting so downhearted day by day. It was only this semester that I actually saw through him. I hope he comes to his senses and realize that it’s not the end. And no matter how hard it is, he has to keep going. Just keep going. These were the three words that saved me years ago. I hope he finds the words that will do the same for him.
  • I got to be a #Bughead shipper. This one is the lightest that happened this semester. And it came at the end. Cole Sprouse and Lili Reinhart were so kilig (what’s the English word for this?) I can’t help but fangirl over them. They make the butterflies in my tummy go fly, fly, fly. Hahaha! They’re so cute and Cole Sprouse is so cute and I can’t wait for Riverdale’s season 2. But I need to be careful that I don’t spazz over them so much it becomes a bad form of admiration. Anyway, I’m still glad I came to know this shipment because they make my weary heart go lighthearted.
  • I grew up? Lol. I don’t give myself too much credit. I don’t even give myself any credit for all the good works I do. Why? I just don’t. But I guess it is okay from time to time to notice that we are, at some point in time, growing up. I’m glad that I’m not anymore that high school kid that I was years ago.
  • The relationship inside our class became, idk, closer? The first time I knew my classmates, I never imagined being close to them, or even opening up to them, or being friends with them. In most parts, I don’t like that they’re so competitive. Because when you’re competitive, you always mind what others think of you. You want to be on top and want others to be lower than you. It’s one of the things I hate in life, and I still do. But I guess one trait does not define a whole being. My classmates’ competitiveness is so exaggerated to the point of hilarious. Lol. I’m not sure if they noticed this but the first 1 and a half year of our class, we were divided by groups. But now, it seemed that we’re already, idk, one as a class? One of our profs even told us that that’s what she likes about our class, we never leave a man behind (please refer to the first bullet, lol). But this is a trait, as far as I have noticed, that we only had this semester. The people inside English 3D are so colorful, it blinds the others. That’s why the other majors don’t like us.
  • Martial Law marked the conclusion of the second semester. This thought is actually so funny I can’t help but think that this semester is going to be the most memorable semester I’ve had so far. Imagine, the sem was so long and laborious that it even reached the period of the declaration of Martial Law. If that’s not funny for you, I don’t know anymore.

Despite the sleepless nights I spent this semester, and all the time, sweat and effort I gave just to finish all the tasks, the first 5 months of 2017 brought me many good things. It’s even the most informative semester of all since I came to USeP. Our third year college life isn’t over yet. We’re still going to have our summer classes after a week, and I’m looking forward to learning new lessons, and to making new memories.

Thank you second semester of AY 2016-2017. Let my grades be equal with all the efforts I sacrificed.

May all the glory and honor and praise be given to Jah.

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